Love, Mother

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Love, Mother
Okay, so up until yesterday we were still working on completing Chrissy’s gifts to her children and grandchildren. I had addressed the envelopes, written out the checks – her gift of $25.00, and laid out eight Christmas cards. Each family has one check, even the adult grand-kids are included. Chrissy’s task was to sign each card. She talked for days about what she should write – most would say “love mother” and a couple would say “love mama”. I finally began encouraging her to get started – just write a few out at a time. Yesterday morning, to help her along, I wrote on her notepad “Love mother” as an example and as a reminder, “Chrissy, sign these cards today.” Know that she usually doesn’t respond well with words that lean toward a suggestion, much less something that sounds like a directive – a clear “no” is almost always her response. I have been working for over a year learning how to communicate with her in this Alzheimer’s state – much by using touch, facial expressions, and laughter, but more on that later. Chrissy uses a notepad to write reminders for herself, such as “call Judy at 12” or “I took my pills.” I know her writing and know that most generally, it is not legible. And, her writing is kinda all over the place and pressured, not positioned or in a straight line. Signing eight cards is not something I can even imagine her doing in one day. So, I just question who the little bird was that helped her out? Not asking around though, just thankful.So, you might wonder why I even give this thought. More and more in my mind I hear Bob from http://www.alzheimersreadingroom.com/ saying let her do as much as she can for herself because once something is forgotten, it can’t be relearned. And I know that writing your name is memory from a different part of the brain. I hear the neurologist’s words from her last appointment saying there has been a noticeable decline and that Chrissy had scored in late moderate or early severe stage. And that likely in three years, she will not know her children, this according to the neurologist’s experience, research, and all. Alzheimer’s is an insidious disease. I really thought for the most part she was doing well.Whatever, today I choose to linger in this complicated mental state of optimisim and denial. I really just don’t want to lose anymore of my mother.
Posted by Judy at 9:00 AM

3 comments:

ladyd said…
Understand…some the hardest lessons for me to learn as my mother has progressed through the various stages of dementia, have been to accept the changes that go with. The sooner I accept, the sooner I adapt to each change, the less stressed we will all be, the less grief we will all endure at my denial. The optimisim, is gone, hope for reversal of the stages is gone. Her end is too near, but how near is that, appears to be her decision as she is in the last stages of it all.
December 23, 2009 1:37 PM

Oh Dear said…
You have a precious mother and I know she feels the same about you. Love you.
December 23, 2009 10:44

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