Chai Tea

Appears I’ve developed a new addiction – Starbucks iced chai tea.  Our Ingles grocery has a Starbucks and for the past month or so I have found myself there almost every day. Seems I have easily rationalized the need to go and pick up just one or two items.  Recently while waiting for the brew, a young server asked how my mom was doing as she hadn’t seen her in a while.  Early on, before mother’s downward spiral, the servers had offered to keep an eye on her while I gathered groceries.  This young woman remembered Chrissy sitting at their table having chai tea and a muffin –  and that she always smiled and said hello.   

As I grasped my obsession the epiphany came: An intense desire, grocery, and Starbucks.  I soon recognized the familiar signal of my sprinkler alarm, looking downward and with my drink in hand; I headed quickly toward the allergy isle.  Seems people seldom question watery eyes when you mention allergies. 

Within minutes, amazing clarity of acceptance came as I realized I was no longer encapsulated in a snow globe of loneliness and tears.  I smiled as another tender memory of Chrissy had settled in my heart’s emotional chamber: sitting at Starbucks with a chai tea.

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

4 responses to this post.

  1. Hi Judy,

    It was good to get back to your blog, which you reminded me about by saying hello on mine. I hadn’t been to visit in a while and just found out your mother was no longer with you.

    Wow.

    I’m constantly aware that caregiving blogs about dementia never seem to last very long, for this reason, and although I think we all live the reality of the possibility of their death every day (and sometimes fear that it will never come), it’s always a shocker to me when it does happen, never the way or time you would have expected.

    Your last post (chai) was really poignant for me. There are so many new rituals in my life that involve Mom, and as much as it’s hard and stretches me, I like sharing that space in my life with her right now, and can’t imagine what it will be like afterward.

    I’m wondering how you’ll continue your writing. Do you have plans, or going to just wait and see how it unravels?

    Whatever comes your way, I wish you the best and thank you for putting yourself out there in communion with all of us who live in this world.

    Take care!
    Megan

    Reply

    • Hi Megan,
      It’s good to hear from you! Only recently have I returned to our caregiving blogs – just too difficult. I miss her terribly. Your thought of being happy to share space with your mother was indeed my desire and intention also. I have wondered what to do with this blog. As for writing, I plan to gather many of the posts for some type of book, most likely an e-book. I’m in a writer’s group and four of the five of us have books and articles published. At each gathering we bring something we’ve written and they’ve encouraged me to bring posts from chrissysmoments. They graciously edit my work!
      All this to say I’m slowly moving along. I’ll visit you soon. Judy.

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: